Learn to Master Your Emotions: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman - Quick Review and Book Summary

A person’s emotional intelligence is often a greater factor than that person’s IQ in determining success in business and in life.  And the good news is that even if you were not raised in a household that taught you to master your emotions, it is not too late. You can still learn emotional intelligence which is being in touch with one’s emotions, having empathy, being able to accurately read other people, and responding appropriately to others.  

In Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More than IQ, Bantam Books (2005) Daniel Goleman explains why emotional intelligence is important to success and that it is not fixed at birth.  We can develop our emotional intelligence throughout our lifetime.  When we take the time to get in touch with our emotions, we are better able to determine if we need to cool off and think about what is causing us distress and formulate a more constructive solution to the problem than if we just respond in kind to another person’s perceived provocative act.   
The book is divided into five sections. 

The biology of emotions 

Section one explains the biology behind the emotional brain. Goleman describes how the body responds to anger, fear, happiness, sadness and other emotions. Also, our emotions are a part of our primitive brain, not part of the neocortex, the thinking part of the brain.  

There is no correlation between emotional intelligence and IQ

Section two explains the nature of emotional intelligence. Academic intelligence has almost no correlation with emotional intelligence. People who are highly intelligent may lack basic emotional intelligence and be unable to control their impulses. For example, if we know that anger often builds on anger, when we observe something triggering an angry response in ourselves, we can defuse that anger by challenging the thoughts we are having about the perceived trigger. For example, ask yourself if you are missing information. Also, we can de-escalate anger by removing ourselves from the situation and going somewhere else to calm down. But, anger will not cool if we continue to ruminate on anger-inducing thoughts.

Applying emotional intelligence 

Section three shows how emotional intelligence is applied. Chapter four shows how emotional intelligence is developed in infants and during childhood but it can continue to develop throughout a person’s lifetime. Part five explains the high cost of having a large population of people who have failed to develop emotional intelligence.

Rating: $$$$$ out of five.  This book can save a person’s career if that person has not yet mastered his or her emotions and learned how to control basic emotional impulses. 

Copyright @ 2016 Christine Esser

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